Newsletter #4 – Stop Idolising. Start Appreciating

Welcome back!

We started these on Monday the 1st of January 2024, and I’ve somehow managed to write four so far!

Who would’ve thought? Not me!

I have to say too, right out of the gate, I’m very much just exploring with these newsletters.

The goal here is to hopefully encourage you in some sort of way, (on AND off the drums), maybe get a laugh or two in the process, and all through story-form.

I’m going purely by feel here, but I am really enjoying the process. It’s fun.

I wake, brew my coffee, read for a bit, then dive head first into my writing, while my mind is still fresh.

I’m not overthinking it, I am just letting the ideas come through naturally.

But let’s be clear here, and acknowledge that absolutely MASSIVE elephant just to your left – I am not a writer!

Shock.Horror!

I know… Sorry. The big reveal.

That’s probably pretty dam obvious at this point.

What I am, is a creative, who in turn, likes to write it turns out.

So with that in mind, I just wanted to start by saying a big thanks to you all for taking the time with these. I see the open rate, and I’m genuinely blown away.

I’ll be honest though, I’m actually surprised to see you back here this week. Haha.

I mean, considering the rabbit hole we both fell down last week.

I mean, commodity coffee, knock-off Nutella, religion, diddles, pataflaflas. We covered a lot.

What a ride!

I did say up front it was a doozy! And you survived, picked yourself up, and are now back for more!

Good on you.

Anyway, let’s do it then… Let’s go.

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Now, I already know what you’re thinking. I can feel the energy you’re transmitting through your device, right now.

The title of this newsletter is a little concerning to you, right?

You’re thinking, “hang on, why is this not labeled –

Purpose.Plan.Action – pt 2?”.

“Why are we not continuing on from last week’s cliffhanger episode?”

“What’s the Plan, Stan?”

“What’s the goddam Plan!?”

I get it, and this is a completely fair question.

No one likes that ‘cliffhanger’ feeling. I’m totally with you! Yet, here I am, doing that exact same thing to you!

Now, I say all this assuming that last week’s newsletter DID actually leave you with that ‘cliffhanger’ feeling.

It must have. Surely. It was a total nail biter!

Highs, lows, ups, downs… it had the works!

I mentioned near the end that it was the equivalent of an HBO 3-Part miniseries. And it was.

We all felt that. Right?

“And the Emmy goes to….”

No? Just me?

Well, for the sake of this next tangent I’m about to embark on, let’s just assume that IS how you actually feel.

Thanks boss! Much appreciated.

QUEUE. SAID. TANGENT….

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I actually have full-fledged trauma from that ‘cliffhanger’ feeling. Specifically from my teenage years.

I’d also wager that some of you will completely relate to this…

When I was 14, I had a tight rat pack of 5 friends. It was myself, Gino, Jim, and then the twins, Chris and (another) James.

We did everything together.

We were as thick as thieves, you might say! Especially when we were shoplifting. (Funny that.)

We were like the Planeteers from the 90s tv show, Captain Planet, but minus the obsession with saving the environment.

Oh, and when our powers combined, we did not conjure up a Bon Jovi-looking wannabe-pollution-fighting-super-eco-warrior.

Nope, not even close.

Instead, when our powers combined, it magically caused things like letterboxes to get destroyed in the middle of the night, and bottles of budget friendly Mississippi Moonshine to magically disappear in our presence.

It was miraculous!

Anyway, we would walk home from school (if we went), combine our loose pocket change, swing past the local fish n chips store, and grab our supply of chicken salted hot chips.

We’d then head back to Chris and James’ adult free house and prepare the viewing room for the most painful Cliffhanger show known to man – DragonBall Z.

Season 3 : the Frieza Saga, and Season 6 : and Cell Games Saga, were ESPECIALLY painful. I know you know what I mean.

But we loved it. Gluttons for punishment we were.

A full 30 minutes just to watch Goku attempt to power up? Where, in reality, he would’ve blown one of those neck veins well before reaching Super Saiyan 2.

I mean the guy nearly popped a blood vessel just opening a door!

“Ahhhhh. Ahhhhhh. Ehhhhhh. Ohhhhhh.” – As a single bead of sweat runs down his temple.

His cardio was clearly lacking. Sort it out, Goku!

My point is, I can completely relate to how you’re feeling right now.

You were expecting to continue on the ‘Purpose.Plan.Action Saga’. But sorry, we are not there yet. Not today.

As I mentioned at the end of last week’s ‘purge’, the gravity of the question justified a little more time to mull over it all. Which I’m giving to you now.

So, today we have other things to discuss.

And discuss, we shall…

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I titled this Newsletter Stop Idolising. Start Appreciating as I find this topic very interesting.

It’s regarding what I see as the danger of having ‘idols’ in and among our creative pursuits.

It’s not so much the idea of looking up to people, that’s fine, we are all a product of our influences.

It’s holding people in such high regard that we start to view their abilities as unattainable.

For me, that’s where the problem lies, as I believe nothing is unattainable. Nothing. As long as you are invested.

As always with these newsletters, this subject will be tackled from my anecdotal experience.

I have very clear and distinct memories cemented in my timeline where I have considered the concept of idols, or ‘idolising’, and came to some pretty big, and what I’d call ‘ceiling smashing’ conclusions.

And fortunately for me too, this was very early on in my journey.

But for the sake of today’s newsletter, we’ll focus on one memory. The first one.

Now, to set this up properly, I have to go back… Just a little, so as always, strap in…

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When I was 17 years of age, I lived in a shared house.

At that point, I had already been out of home and school for 2 years, believe it or not.

I was living with two guitarists, both a few years older than me, and it was quite a good arrangement.

I mean, what better living situation could one ask for? They played guitar, I played drums, and on top of that, the house was a sort of hub too, for all the local musicians.

Often, people would just pop in for a hang, a drink, or a jam. It was great!

My drums were set up in the lounge, and greeted you on entry. I was always playing them. These were very formative years for me. It was great schooling.

Now, these two guitarists were both quite proficient at their instruments, (actually, one more so than the other), but as people, they were very different.

One was naturally optimistic, open-minded, and more of a free-spirit I guess, whereas the other was quite rigid in his thinking, had a more narrow view of the world, and to top it off, was quite over-bearing too.

But being as I was a bit younger, I just ignored all that, and took it in my stride. Initially.

Everyone has their quirks, right?

Now, for the sake of this story, and keeping their identities anonymous, we will call Mr. Optimist ‘Ben’, and Mr. Pessimist, ‘Cain’.

We listened to a lot of music in this house, as you can imagine, and at that time we were going through a heavy virtuoso guitarist phase, and listening to a lot of Tool. And I mean A LOT.

The virtuoso guitarist thing was a pretty typical schooling by all accounts. Lots of Satriani, Vai, Petrucci, Malmsteen etc.

We’d drink, we’d smoke, we’d jam, and we’d have a blast! It was such an inspiring environment for a young drummer like me. I loved it.

You have to remember too, guys, I’d only been playing the drums for 4-5yrs at that point. So still very early on in my development.

Anyway, as inspiring as this time was, I’d find that whenever a conversation started up regarding that smorgasbord of guitarists I mentioned, there was a clear difference in the way they were viewed.

Ben and I would always come at it from the angle of appreciation; acknowledging their prowess but using it as a source of inspiration, whereas Cain, well he was a little different. He idolised these guys, but to the point where he was clearly choked by them.

He would say limiting things like “no one could touch them”, or, “Only Vai can do Vai”.

He would speak about them in a sort of ‘god-like’ and unattainable kind of way.

I naturally did not connect with this way of thinking. It always confused me.

As I said, I was 17 (going on 18), and was in a very hungry and responsibility-free stage of my development. Both, on the kit, AND off the kit.

My mind and my playing were expanding, and fast.

Over time, Cains narrative was becoming quite tiring, and dare-I-say cliché. To the point where I started expecting it from him more often than not.

Because of the way I felt in his presence, I suppose this was the first time I started to consider the idea of being careful of who and what energy you welcome into your world.

His views and outlook were like a heavy blanket surrounding you. I didn’t like it.

We all know how being around heavily pessimistic people is incredibly fatiguing, and can truly suck the life force from you, if you don’t –

A. Remove yourself from their presence

or

B. At the very least, start to push back.

Not in a confrontational way, of course, but more so in the way of your actions.

How?

Well, for me? I started to let my playing do the talking…

In my last newsletter I briefly touched on my experiences with drugs in my late teens. This is the honesty couch, right?

Well, this period is that time I was referring to, and I want to tell you one specific situation that literally changed me forever…

A ‘eureka’ moment of sorts.

One evening, in a very much enjoyable ‘heightened state’, we were doing the usual…

With our mood lighting on (a blanket over a lamp, lol), we were listening to music, watching live performances, reading Tools liner notes ‘looking for clues’ and ‘secret messages’, and just in general, enjoying being taken on a ride.

That’s the beauty of music, right? It’s a ride! And what a ride it is.

One of the great things about music is you get to literally use it for exactly what YOU need.

Meaning, I could use, lets say, a Jeff Buckley song to elevate and assist me through the good times, or, use that very same song to hold me up and help me through the bad times, too. Amazing.

I made this connection to music very early on in my life, well before the drums came along, and have made sure to instill this in both my older children, too.

What a joy.

Anyway, that night we were listening to a live Joe Satriani concert, with the formidable Jeff Campitelli on drums.

Seriously, what a tasteful weapon of a drummer he is, and someone who does not get enough mention in this day and age.

The set was hitting a climax, and Jeff was cutting loose.

I felt as though I was floating in my chair, I was so deep in it. I mean, in my head, I was basically on stage with him.

Then, out of nowhere, and like a lightening bolt to the brain, I suddenly realised that…

‘If I could hear it, it was proof that I too could now do it.’

At that moment, I realised we are all the same, we are just on different timelines in our development.

That the simple act of hearing someone do something amazing now just proves that we can also attain that very same level of skill, if we just apply ourselves.

In fact, they’ve actually just made it easier by taking the guess work out of the possibilities.

They’ve shown the path.

This was a groundbreaking realisation at 17.

I no longer saw someone’s ability as something to envy, but merely an example of what we can achieve, and a clear pathway to get there.

“What the mind can conceive, and believe, it can achieve” – Napolean Hill

It was at that moment I realised I was FREE.

Now, coincidentally, yet not surprisingly, this new way of seeing the world was instantly put to the test the very next day.

It was early morning, and I was enjoying the ‘day after’ reflection time with my coffee, and while listening to Ænima for the 1000th time.

Cain entered the room and completely smothered his energy everywhere by making the passing comment that “No one could play Tool”.

I was listening to the track Eulogy, when Cain declared, (as he always did), “only Tool could do Tool, and no one could touch them.”

Now, I understand that there is only one Tool, but the idea that no one could play their music? C’mon now.

Rubbish.

Cain left for the day, thankfully, and at that very moment, I turned to Ben and said “Let’s learn Eulogy”.

Ben was instantly on board, he was good like that. So he shot off to his room, and I went to my drums, and we both got to work.

Lunchtime came, and we got back together over another coffee, to exchange notes and discuss in general how things were coming along.

By the sounds of it we were both making great progress. It was happening. We were getting there!

Then, by mid-afternoon, Ben dragged his guitar and amp out into the lounge, plugged it in, turned it up to 11, and in one single pass we actually played through Tools ‘Eulogy’ from start to finish. All 8 minutes and 25 seconds of it!

Wow. What a feeling. We weren’t just LISTENING to Tool now, we were actually PLAYING it. Unreal!

It was not like anything I had experienced up until that point. It was completely sublime.

Cain returned that evening, to which Ben and I announced our major win for the day.

We then proceeded to plug back in, crank back up to 11, and play through (the now well rehearsed) Eulogy, from start to finish.

Boom. We did. It turns out, not just Tool, could do Tool.

And what did Cain say, you ask?

Nothing, of course! His ego couldn’t handle it.

He couldn’t bring himself to acknowledge the accomplishment, knowing full well that his close-minded opinion was the driver behind it all to begin with.

That was Cain in a nutshell.

But hey, I will say, ultimately, I actually appreciated him.

His stubborn close-mindedness helped me shape my own views on things, and ultimately his opinions were the catalyst for what then became my deep obsession with Danny Carey.

From there, learning that one track turned into learning 6, for a friends 30th party, which eventually turned into starting up an actual gigging Tool Tribute band!

We had a 70 minute set, comprised of 12 of our favourite tracks, with lights, visuals… The works!

It’s fair to say we went all in.

An interesting thing to point out here too, is that going into Eulogy, there were elements of Danny’s playing I could not yet do. Like the iconic 3 over 4 hihat breakdown. I had never played something like that before.

But I knew deep down that because Danny had written it, and then performed it, I could now learn it too, I just needed to put the work in. And that part, I could handle.

He showed me the way.

I mean, another great example of this is in 1953 Sir Edmund Hilary became the first person to climb Mt Everest.

A huge accomplishment.

Until that point, many had tried and failed, but from the moment he and his guide succeeded, the flood gates opened, and 1000s have conquered it ever since.

He showed the way. He showed it was possible.

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I don’t idolise my influences, I just appreciate them.

I stopped idolising at 17, and this mental shift completely expedited my growth on the kit, and OFF of it, too.

I am grateful my influences pursued their creative outlet to such a high level, as it helped me see how high I can raise my own ceiling, and then, in turn, attempt to take it even further.

That part I’m still working on. We all are though, right?

Just remember, someone’s ability is just an indication of the time they’ve put in. That’s it. Nothing else.

Time + Effort = Results.

The sooner you realise they are not special, they are just committed to the cause, the sooner you can smash through your own current ceilings and take your playing to a whole new level.

Stop Idolising. Start Appreciating

Stay hungry, and see you next week,

Stan

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ps. My new course, The Key To Double Stroke Mastery has dropped! This is a straight to the point course, showing you the correct mechanics required for world-class doubles.

pps. I am now taking locking in people for my March intake of the 30-Day MasterMind Drummer Coaching Program.

There are 20 spots remaining.

Over those 30 days I will take you through –

Wk 1 – Mechanics Reset
Wk 2 – Applied Mechanics & practical patterns
Wk 3 – Single Kick Development : a conversation between the hands and feet
Wk 4 – Creativity and Facility : a conceptual way of developing your freedom around the kit.

We will also dive into what I call the 5 pillars of life –

Health, Wellbeing, Family, Wealth, Progress, and I will give you systems, tips and tricks to help you show up more, on and off the kit! As well as book and audio recommendations, to keep you in the zone.

MasterMind Drummer is about developing the person, as well as the player, and is something a care a lot about.

Reply here, for more info. 🙂

ppps. Feel free to hit me back here with any feedback. This is a conversation, and it’s all appreciated.