I’m just going to be straight with you—as the title suggests, I’m f*ckin bored.
Since returning from Melbourne four years ago, I’ve had a solid taste of what NZ has to offer as a high-level working drummer—live gigs, studio work, sessions, drum clinics, teaching… you name it, I’ve done it.
And honestly? Right now? I’m not feeling much.
It’s not that I don’t love playing. Not at all. Playing drums is everything to me. Outside my family, it’s the most important thing in my life. That’s the one thing that still drives me every. single. day—perfecting my craft and elevating my ability to deliver at the highest level. But musically, here in NZ, there’s just nothing that excites me currently, and hasn’t for some time now.
I’ve spent the last four years carving out a strong career here—working with incredible musicians, playing great shows, recording for a bunch of artists, and even teaching some of the top players in the country. And for a while, that was enough. But for the past year or so, I just haven’t been feeling it.
I guess I’m coming to terms (again) with something I already knew—I want more than what NZ can offer me.
And look, I say “again” because this is exactly what led me to leave NZ in the first place, all those years ago. I knew that what I wanted couldn’t be found here, so I left.
Let’s be clear—this isn’t a shot at NZ or its musicians. There are some insanely talented, world-class players here. Some of the best I’ve worked with, no doubt. But for where I’m at personally, it’s just not giving me what I want from life. The opportunities just aren’t pushing me the way that I want.
So where does that leave me?
Well, I’ve been here before—multiple times, actually—and right now, the only thing that truly excites me is working on my playing. That’s it. Just me, my drums, and the pursuit of getting better every. single. day.
I still practice 2-4 hours most days, and even after all these years, it never feels like a chore—I just love it. At any given time, I have four or five key ideas or concepts I’m chipping away at, refining, and dialing in, and I love it.
The progress is real, and that’s what keeps me going.
But it’s not just the drums—you know that. If I don’t have an immediate musical outlet that’s pushing me, then that energy has to go somewhere.
So I put it into leveling up in all areas of my life—on and off the kit. That means doubling down on my health, fitness, and nutrition, expanding my business and brand, refining my concepts, and making sure my personal progress doesn’t stall. Strength work, conditioning, clean eating, reading, writing, deep practice sessions, content creation—if it moves the needle forward, I’m all in. If it doesn’t, I’m out.
I don’t care for playing bar gigs, weddings, or corporate shows, regardless of the money or the level. I never have. And I don’t care about being in a band just for the sake of it or staying busy for the sake of staying busy. That’s just not me.
I want to push myself in my areas of interest—on and off the kit.
When it comes to playing live, I want to play music that excites me. Music that I connect to. I want to be in a room with players who don’t just let me be me, but who push me to be better—on and off the kit, too.
And right now, I’m don’t feel like I have that.
Now, let’s talk about Primus…
I’ll be honest—if I land this gig, it would actually tick a lot of the boxes I feel I’m currently missing (and even a few you might not expect). But that fate is still up in the air.
While it feels like the perfect fit for me in so many ways, I’m still fully aware there’s still a high chance it won’t happen.
So for now, I’m doing what I always do—just focusing on my craft and pushing my personal progress off the kit, too. No distractions.
No wasting time on things that don’t fulfill me. Just showing up every day, putting in the work, and seeing where that leads.
Because if there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s this—if you keep showing up and putting in the reps, the right opportunities will come. They always do.
Your opportunities are purely determined by the work you put in—nothing more.
I don’t know what’s next, and I’m okay with that. If anything, this is just a reminder to do the work, be honest with yourself, and know who you are and what you truly want out of life.
And what I do know is that I’m not settling for anything less than what genuinely feels right.
And if that means just grinding in the room for now, and getting those reps in? So be it. I’ve been here before, and I love it. It always leads to good things.
So for now, as always, I’ll just keep sharpening the blade, because when the right door opens—and it will, I’ll be more than ready to walk through it.
Remember, don’t prep for the opportunities you know are coming, prep for the ones you don’t know are coming.
———————-
Let’s leave it there this week as I’m about to knock out a kettlebell workout, then head to the studio to try out a new snare 🙂
As always, thanks for your time and attention, and please, feel free to hit me back here with any thoughts you may have. I appreciate the discourse.
Have an inspiring week,
Stay hungry, (and healthy),
Stan