MasterMind Drummer
Newsletter #47
Nov 11th, 2024
How To Disappear Completely – Pt.1
Welcome back!
This week, I wanted to break the newsletter into two parts.
Although they’re connected, I’d like to clearly separate the personal and powerful anecdote I’m about to share with you, from what we’ll flesh out and discuss in FULL, next week.
So, let me take you back. All the way back…
When I was 15 years old, it was a pretty chaotic period. My dad and I were disconnected, and my mum was in and out of psych wards for severe mental health issues.
I had already left school and home, was working full-time at a local supermarket, and was couch-surfing to get by.
During this turbulent period, I stayed with a friend who had a couple of older brothers.
These guys were great. They knew I played drums, so they’d often show me new songs and albums they were listening to. It was pretty encouraging, especially considering I was just their younger brother’s friend, crashing at their house.
Some of the music I was ready for; some of it, I clearly wasn’t…
One day, I remember one of them coming up to me and saying, “Dude, the new Tool album is out, and you NEED to hear it!”
“Ok, cool! But Tool? What is Tool?” I thought. I hadn’t heard of them at that point—remember, I was just 15.
Funny enough, for someone who eventually ended up setting up and spearheading a Tool tribute band in my late teens, right then, at that moment, I definitely was NOT ready for them.
He put the album on, and I remember thinking, this is awful!
Hilarious.
As a side note, it would be another year before I’d truly connect with Tool. I was working at a trellis making factory – true-blue labour work, and it happened when I first heard the infamous 3-over-4 Eulogy groove.
It was at that point, that my brain was ready to absorb the brilliance.
Often, with music, it’s all about timing. Are we ready to receive the magic, or not?
As I said, these older brothers were great, and looking back, they were generous considering I was just a homeless 15-year-old snot-nose kid.
One day, an opportunity came up to go along with one of them to a local party. It was with the older kids, so it was a big deal.
This was a classic teenage party, with everything you’d expect at that age. Things that, in hindsight, I was probably a bit too young to be around.
But at the time, I remember feeling that hanging out with the big kids was pretty damn exciting and got involved as much as I could.
At the end of the night, I was sitting with the remaining few in the lounge when a song came on that, without being hyperbolic, quite literally changed my life.
It was in that moment I ‘completely disappeared…’
Looking back, I was going through quite a lot at the time.
As I mentioned, I was 15, out of home, out of school, had no guardians, and had absolutely no direction (who does at 15?).
I was vulnerable and lost, so it was the perfect time to be swept away by the right song.
The track ended, and I gingerly landed back down on planet Earth.
I turned to the guy at the stereo and said, “Hey man, can we listen to that track again? That was incredible. Who was it?”
He turned to me and said, “Dude, that was Radiohead.”
“Radiohead? What a cool name for a band,” I thought.
“What was the track called?” I asked.
He replied, “How To Disappear Completely.”
“How to disappear completely?” Wow. What a name!
I instantly understood exactly where it was coming from. It all made sense to me.
He graciously played the track again, and then again, and even again! From memory, six times in total… well, that’s how I remember it anyway, in my heightened state. Haha.
The impact of this track on me in that very moment—and over the years too—can’t be understated.
I hear it now and it takes me back. Its visceral. I can almost taste it.
It’s easily a top 10 song for me. And of course, I have the vinyl too –
(Only my ‘lifetimers’ albums make the vinyl cut)
So, the song…
The lush acoustic guitar, the perfect yet obscure walking bass line, the ethereal Ondes Martenot (like a theremin), and the haunting melody with lyrics like:
In a little while
I’ll be gone
The moment’s already passed
Yeah, it’s gone
And I’m not here
This isn’t happening
I’m not here
I’m not here
That night, this song was imprinted on me. I was ready to receive.
I felt connected, heard, and understood.
As I mentioned earlier, music is all about timing. But, personally, I don’t think WE choose music; instead, I believe that when we’re truly ready, it’s the music that actually chooses us.
And that night, this track chose me.
If you get a spare second, find a quiet place, put on some headphones, take a moment, and go on the journey that they offer with this song.
Trust me. You won’t regret it.
But, for now, let’s leave it there this week.
Thanks for sharing this moment with me. It’s much appreciated.
Next week, we dive in to Pt.2 –
The Importance Of How To Disappear Completely
See you then!