This week is not going to be a long newsletter, basically, because the point of it doesn’t really need to be fleshed out too much. But first, let’s start here…
Well, I’m back in NZ after a whirlwind week in LA auditioning for Primus, and I’m feeling absolutely fantastic.
Yesterday was my first proper day back, which included:
- Waking early
- Reading
- Writing
- Family time
- Exercise (Kettlebells)
- Drums (3hrs)
- Family time
- Exercise (Evening run with young Maximus)
- Family time
- Chill
- Bed
That is very much the perfect day for me. If I can hit the key areas of health, well-being, family, business, and progress (drums), then I feel I’ve truly nailed it.
Before I kick off, I should probably address the elephant in the room, right? As in, how am I feeling about the audition?
To be honest, now that the week has passed, and after seeing all 10 incredible drummers who auditioned (I only knew four of them going into it), I can honestly say I’m feeling even more confident than ever.
I was already confident going in because I truly believe, as I’ve stated before, that I am the right person for the job. Then the audition happened, and when I walked out, I thought, “Wow, I couldn’t have put a better foot forward if I had tried.”
In short, it went even better than I had hoped.
And by that, I just mean I felt comfortable, relaxed, and able to tap into my true self on and off the kit, and just do my thing.
And now, even after seeing who else came through that week (phew!!!), I still genuinely feel like this gig is mine. Truly.
Now, look, I know that’s a bold statement. I mean, we had world-class drummers by all accounts, including known heavyweights like Pridgen, Lang, Glaspie, Borlai, and even some more underground weapons like Dolans, Stone, Hoffman—just to name a few.
Only monsters came through.
But as I said, even now knowing that, I feel stronger than ever that I’m the right man for the gig.
This is actually probably the only context where I would feel this confident after an audition with these weapons on the list as well. Because that is what it’s about here, right? Context.
As I’ve stated, this doesn’t mean I will get it. And also, please don’t confuse confidence with arrogance. I’m just assessing things based on what I think and what I see. It just means that I feel I stack up well, even against all these incredible players, in this context specifically.
The thing to keep in mind, though, is that, regardless of how I feel about it, I still don’t know exactly what they want.
Yes, Primus has a history that needs to be honored live—all the great music we’ve come to love, (which I feel I honoured really well in the audition), but they have a future that needs catering to as well, and it’s that part only Les and Larry truly know.
They want to keep writing and recording, and are very much considering that in this process.
We actually started with a 30min free-form jam, where I felt Les was feeling me out, in terms of my ideas and ‘the jam’, etc. but I still feel I managed to put my best foot forward, and just do what I do.
I’ll go through the whole process in the next week or so—a full rundown of the audition itself, play-by-play, but rest assured, they multi-cam filmed each audition, and basically put a lapel mic on me from the moment I walked in, so they’ve got a TON of content, which I’m sure will roll out over the coming weeks.
For now, here is a little eye candy for you… (and yes, those are Les’ legs off to the right, haha)
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So, what’s the point of today’s newsletter?
Well, simply to let you all know that, earlier this month, I made the call to leave Black Comet.
This will be news to some and not so much to others, but it’s important to me. It’s an element of my life I’ve been living for the past 3years, so I have chosen to talk about it here, a little more candidly and honestly.
First, this decision has, in no way, shape, or form, been made based on recent opportunities. Meaning, I didn’t quit Black Comet because I got to go on the road with Natasha Bedingfield recently, nor is it in hope of getting the Primus gig. Not at all.
In fact, I see a world where Primus and Black Comet could coexist quite easily for me if I got the gig, and if I still wanted to play in BC.
But I don’t.
As with all bands, there’s a lot that goes into them. I could probably break this down into 20–30 reasons why I made this decision, but in short: I just don’t find it creatively fulfilling anymore and haven’t for some time now.
I started feeling this way about 18 months ago but decided to wait, see how it goes, give it the benefit of the doubt, and I suppose just ride it out.
You never know how you’ll feel in a few weeks or months, right?
Wrong.
The older I get, the more I’ve realized that how I feel about anything to do with my craft and my creative outlet, only intensifies as time passes. It never weakens. Once I know, I know.
If I start feeling a certain way about something related to my drumming, or a project that I’m part of, that feeling doesn’t change, it never has—it only grows stronger. And that’s exactly what happened here.
I put this down to my intuition, and trusting it wholeheartedly. I know what I want from my drumming, and from my life, and not everything I have the privilege of being part of fits into that vision of my future self. Even if it once did.
I play the drums because I love them—plain and simple. EVERY TIME I touch my drums, it’s because I want to connect with them.
For me, to commit time and effort to a project—3 years in BC’s case—I need to love it. And I no longer do, and haven’t for a while.
So, with a heavy heart, I made the call at the start of the year.
Was it easy? No. I love those guys, and it was a blast playing with them in that context. But my heart checked out a while ago, which I could no longer ignore, so it was time I finally checked out too.
So, what was missing creatively?
Well, I think the best way to answer that is by saying that Black Comet wasn’t my vision—it was someone else’s. My role was to play pocket, add some colour here and there, and do what was needed to help bring that vision to life.
And in a session context, sure, that’s totally fine. I love my craft, I love doing session work for artists, and I absolutely love seeing them light up when their vision comes to life, and I was able to assist in that.
But like I say, for me, that only works in a session context, and Black Comet wasn’t a session gig. I was a active OG member. This is something that I had to invest a lot of my time and effort in to. And after 3 years of doing so, I just couldn’t justify it anymore.
As I mentioned, I no longer found it creatively fulfilling.
So, what now?
Well, much of the same. Just keep prioritizing my growth on and off the kit.
As always, I’ll show up for my craft daily, log the hours, and keep pushing this instrument as far as I possibly can, in the brief but precious time I have here!
“Yeah, but what about projects and bands?”
Oh, I never worry about that, and to be honest, I never have. There are always bits and pieces on the go-I actually have a session later today, but as I’ve said bunch: I’m led purely by the pursuit of the craft, and my love for the craft. It’s the process that really pulls me in.
Everything else after that? The opportunities, the amazing experiences that pop up from time to time? Well, that is just a byproduct, and definitely not a motivator for me.
That is just a result.
And look, often they are good results, yes, for sure, but make no mistake, they are just a result, and nothing more.
You know me, I just focus on the work, as that’s the one thing I can truly control, and the rest, well, I just leave that to the powers that be.
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Let’s leave it there this week, as I’m about to get a workout in, and go play my drums.
As always, thanks for your time and attention, and please, feel free to hit me back here with any thoughts you may have. I appreciate the discourse.
Have a powerful week,
Stay hungry, (and healthy),
Stan
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