MasterMind Drummer
Newsletter #20
May 6th, 2024
The obstacle is the way…
Hi Daniel,
Let’s just start here…
If it’s hard, it’s good. If it’s comfortable, its probably time to reassess?
Welcome back, and as always, thanks for clicking on my weekly newsletter! Its much appreciated 🙂
I wanted to do something a little different today. It relates to all the things I like to discuss in these newsletters. Things like accountability, showing up daily, doing the hard things, walking towards challenges etc etc, and it also brings you a little closer into my world, too.
Before we kick off, I should say that I stole the title of this newsletter from a book by one of my favourite authors, Ryan Holiday. Get on Google and do some digging into Ryan’s work on Stoicism… Trust me. Oh, and you’re welcome 😉
Right, I do not want to waste any words with this, so let’s just get straight into it.
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Well, the big news… This time last week I was 39 years of age, and now, well, I’m 40!
How did that happen?
Life is funny like that. It does NOT stop moving, no matter what.
Things you loathe, like the dreaded dentist appointment, seem to appear almost immediately, yet, a piece of new gear you’ve been ever so patiently waiting for, for two weeks, feels like an eternity. Curious, isn’t it.
One day you are a rambunctious 22 years young, and the next day, you are literally 40 years old! That’s how it feels, and it happens extraordinarily fast too. Its quite amazing really.
Maybe a great reason to make the most of it, and enjoy every moment, right? I reckon so.
I’ll say too, at 40 years old, I am by far the happiest I have ever been. I truly mean that.
Look, I’ve always been a ‘cup-half-full’ kind of guy, but still, even with that in mind, I am genuinely the happiest and healthiest version of myself, to date. Stan 4.0, you might say. And at 40, I’m super proud to say that.
But I’ll be honest, it’s no accident. It isn’t by chance that I feel that way. It’s very important that I mention that.
This is very much a happening of my doing. It wasn’t for free by any means.
In life, I work very hard at two things…
1. My health.
2. My craft.
That’s really what it all boils down to, for me.
Firstly, my health is the MOST important thing to me, and comes before everything else in my life. Even my family. I know that can sound a little extreme, but the reality is, what good am I to them, if I’m not working at my most optimum? It starts with me. It has to.
It’s similar to the safety demonstration on a plane where they explain to you to put your mask on first, before your children. The idea being you get yourself sorted first, so you can then be at your best for everyone else. Makes sense.
So, back to my health journey. I learned this 18 years ago, as a young (and struggling) solo dad.
My son was only 1 at the time, and if I’m honest, I was pretty much flying by the seat of my pants.
I should say too, his mum was in his life, we just had him 50/50, and were separated, so that’s what I mean when I say ‘solo dad’, as every time I had him, it was just me and him.
It was quite a stressful time as you can imagine. Just trying to get by each day, and raise a well balanced, and healthy child.
And look, for myself, it got hard at times, for sure, as you’d expect at that age. The ‘bigger’ issue though, was, over time, I let myself go… Just a little.
I was a smoker, with a respectable 10 years under my belt at that point already, as I had started at 12, I had an extremely poor diet, and as you can probably tell here, I did not exercise either.
What I remember very vividly about this period, is, by-in-large, I just felt average most of the time.
I was still my positive, cup-half-full self, but I just felt average, most of the time.
Then one day, I had enough. I decided something needed to change.
I came to the realisation that no matter how I choose to live my life, my son will always see me as some sort of superman, (kids are like that), so why not actually live up to that? Why not actually earn that title and become the greatest influence and role model in his life?
I knew that deep down, I had the power to do that!
He was still young, which meant he was young enough that he wouldn’t even remember this version of me, hahaha, but I had to act quick, and had to start now!
So I did. From that day on, I started taking an invested interest in my health, through the form of regular exercise, and the study of nutrition.
I went deep, too. I did everything, and I tried everything. I left no stone unturned. I always go deep. It’s the only way I know.
I went down every nutritional rabbit hole you can imagine, as well as all different types of exercises, too. I had to learn as much as I possibly could.
What’s interesting though, is, regardless of what ‘fad’ or ‘phase’ of my diet or exercise journey I was in, without a doubt, things INSTANTLY started to change for the better, from the very first day.
As soon as I put my health first, things just got soooo much better, and soooo much easier. I got all the obvious physical benefits that you get from regular exercise and eating well, but what I wasn’t prepared for, and what I now hold of even higher importance, was the plethora of amazing cognitive benefits too, which I’ve explained in previous newsletters.
These, in turn, made me a better husband, father, friend, bandmate, son, worker, mentor, educator… And so on. All of it.
Everything in life gets better when you look after yourself.
My tolerance levels, ability to manage stress, resilience, mental health; everything improved, as well as my confidence, self-love, self-worth, and self-belief.
You want to start feeling good about things? About the path you are on, and the day-to-day you find yourself in? Want to make some changes for the better? Then start taking your health seriously – and I mean REAL seriously. Treat it with the utmost importance, and the rest will figure itself out. Put it as priority #1.
As cliche as it sounds, at the end of the day, all you have is your health. That is it. So in short, stop f*cking around.
Want average results? Sweet. Just keep doing average things.
Want exceptional results? Amazing! Can do. Just do exceptional things, and you’ll get rewarded, time and time again.
#resultsguaranteed
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So, what did I do for my 40th you ask? A big party? A mass gathering? A few drinks with friends and family?
Not quite.
I had an amazing low-key day with my family, which included reading, writing, exercise, and drumming, as well as slow-cooking myself a hearty Fred Flinstone 1kg 42-day-aged steak, on my smoker…
It was bliss.
But, that’s not it. That’s not the BIG thing I did for my 40th…
So, to preface this next part, I need to explain to you that we live in an area called Papamoa. This is a suburb of Tauranga, based in the are known as the Bay of Plenty. And nearby, in a neighbouring suburb called Mount Maunganui (where my drum studio is), is a dormant volcanic mountain that goes by the same name – Mt. Maunganui.
This mountain has a 232m elevation, and is stunning. If you enjoy getting outdoors, it’s a beautiful (and challenging) climb.
I’ve walked and run up this mountain countless times now, with friends and family. It’s a lovely thing to do on the regular.
So, a couple of years back, not long after we moved here, I came up with the idea of running up the mountain, but starting from my home, where we lived at the time. So door-to-door.
This worked out to be 32kms all up.
I never ended up doing it, but just kept the idea in the back of my head. Well, fast-forward a couple of years, to January this year, and I decided that as I was turning 40 this year, that THIS would be the year to run up The Mount and back, starting from our new home.
I mapped out the distance, and low and behold it was exactly 40KMs on the dot.
A 40km run on my 40th year alive? Hell yes! It’s almost too perfect!
So, on the Saturday just gone (May the 4th be with you), I put on my running shoes at about 8am, said ‘see you soon’ to the family, and proceeded to run from our house, along the beach, up ‘The Mount’, and then back home, and all without stopping. A total of 40kms.
Running 40KMs is not really that big of a deal, people run marathons all the time, but doing The Mount in the middle of this run? And at the 20KM mark? That is what made this pretty dam special to me, and very challenging, too.
And as mentioned, to top it all off, I ran the whole thing on the beach, which definitely didn’t make it any easier! I only did this because it was low-tide, and incredibly scenic. It was a true pleasure.
Perfect running conditions.
Look. The point here is simple. It’s not to flex. It’s just to keep drilling in that you must at all times keep making sure you are challenging yourself. Both short-term and long-term.
You need to set goals, hard goals, and goals that are a roughly a 50/50 chance on whether you will actually complete them or not.
Make it tough.
In life, to move forward, you must struggle. This is not optional. It’s the only way.
Growth is in the struggle, it’s not in comfort.
Remember, the only true failure in life is not attempting anything in the first place. Thats it.
True success is in the attempt, regardless of the result. Challenge yourself, and reach sky-high. And if you don’t hit it this time? No worries, you’re that much closer now. Just keep trying.
I want to leave it there today, but just remember this…
The obstacle is the way… It’s the only way.
As always, I appreciate the feedback. I read them all. So please, if you have any thoughts, send them through, and let’s get a dialogue happening.
Thanks for your time, stay hungry, and see you next week.
Stan